Cherie Sheripova: Tennis Champ & Porn Star (fiction) by Matt Carlson

Cherie Sheripova was a rich, russian, global tennis star. She had won several Grand Slam tournaments already by the age of 29. Tall, blonde and cute enough to get by as pretty because she was photogenic.

She was also a porn star.

AND a business woman. She hadn’t initially planned to become a porn star, but when that private video of her and Arnie Agaçant had mistakenly been published onyoutube.com, there was no stopping it!

Being the business woman that she was,  she decided to capitalize on it almost immediately. Too bad for Steppie Grief and THE husband Arnie, whom she had been sleeping with for quite some time. Of course, she hoped that the marriage would hold together, after all they had kids and everything! She was no home wrecker.

Her first idea were edible panties, made of pink candy. Written in Baby Font on the crotch was : “Eat me” and in smaller letters, “the good stuff is this way”, with a cute arrow pointing south…. Not especially in good taste, but after the media hype over her affair with Arnie, those panties made her millions. She knew she was on to something, so in between her tournaments and preparation for the big tournaments, she made porn films: quality porn films with a story line and everything. Of course, she had the money to hire all the right people and she was actually a good actress. Her films were a hit too, and began to change the way people looked at pornography. After all, it was just Mother Nature, right? She wasn’t doing any strange stuff, pretty basic in fact.

Her next candy scheme however, was a bit different. She actually had a model made of her vagina and called it Cherie’s Bon Bon (french word for candy). It was a reduced size of course, a bit like a chocolate Kiss, but made in the form of her vagina, ‘made of sugar and spice and everything nice’ written on the packaging. It too, was pink.

They began a big marketing campaign during the United States Tennis Open in New York. There were needless to say, alot of grumblers, especially from the Christian right wing conservatives, but Cherie had paid good money to be a sponsor of the tournament and the negotiation included her new Cherie’s Bon Bon. The trouble was how to market so that the entire family could be  swayed to buy it? It was impossible to market pussy shaped candy to families.

Finally while everyone was screaming during an important meeting, the factory called from China where Miss Sheripova’s candies were being manufactured. The candies had accidently came out mishapen! They were all round…..and the color bright yellow!

Cherie, took 60 seconds to think while her team waited patiently watching her from their leather chairs in the conference room.

“Change of plans!” She announced. “We will not sell mini vagina’s, but small tennis balls, Cherie’s Tennis Ball Candies!!” Everyone sighed with relief and began talking at once.  “I must go to practise, someone come to my room at 7:00 pm with a final mock up of this new idea!” She walked briskly off and out of the room.

Turning to the elevator, she reached to push the button when a hand pushed hers’ away.

“Not so fast big bird…” It was Steppie Grief!! (Good grief, she thought.)

“Steppie, how wonderful to see you, how ar…”

SLAP! Went Steppie’s hand across  Cherie’s face…Cherie didn’t move, the redness and numbness, mixed with humiliation was immediate.

“I only have this to say to say. Stay away from Arnie. If you don’t I promise, you will regret it”. Off went the still classy and beautiful Steppie Grief.

Her forehand slap was as good as her forehand which had helped her win 22 grand slam tennis titles.

Cherie took a deep beath wanting to scream, get the last insulting words out, but it was useless. The tears streamed down.

She hadn’t meant any harm, she just didn’t get other people’s bounderies about sex. To her, everyone should sleep with everyone. The most natural thing in the world.

It was Arnie who had given her the idea of the undies and the candy. He always said that her love mound was like candy and that everyone should be able to eat some. Great ideas like that, you couldn’t make up.

She got into the elevator and began thinking about that new young japanese tennis player.

What was his name? Neishikorri? “Nishy-korri” she sang out loud. “Get some today – you deserve it”….a new candy idea was born! And there was such a great market over there. She could sell her tennis ball candies along side Neishikorri bubble gum or one of those swords, hairy kerry something or other. It could look like a penis!  She smiled and went to change for practise.

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