Quiet Your Emotional Turbulence by Matt Carlson
‘How to quiet the emotional turbulence when your needs are not being met. Discover a seven step process that helps you to accept your feelings without judgement and which can provide an opportunity for inner growth & self refection.
Step One: Take responsibility for your emotions – for what you are feeling. When you find yourself reacting emotionally to other people, it is usually because they are reflecting some kind of emotion that you have not fully acknowledged within your own nature. When you accept responsibility for your own emotions, & cease to be a bundle of conditioned reflexes, you will no longer be vulnerable to the opinions of everyone you encounter. So learn to take responsibility.
Step Two: Identify what the emotion is. “I feel…” How do you feel? You may be angry, sad, hurt, disappointed, helpless etc. As clearly as possible, try to identify the emotion or emotions that you are feeling. What is the emotion that you are feeling? Look at it straight in the eye, “I am feeling….”
Step Three: Witness the feeling in your body. Emotions are thoughts associated with physical sensations. Our thoughts trigger bodily reactions releasing chemicals that have a life of their own. The physiological expression of stress cannot be instantaneously shut off; rather the energy of the emotion must be dissipated before the emotion can be processed further. Just observe the feeling. Allow your attention to embrace the sensation in your body. By simply experiencing the physical sensations, some of the emotional charge will dissipate and this will allow you to hear the message of the emotion. Witness the feeling – in your body.
Step Four: Express the emotion in private, to yourself. You can write about your feelings or speak them out loud. Keep a journal just for this purpose. Allow similar memories to come to the surface and write about them too. Use language that accurately conveys what you are experiencing. Allow yourself to express all that you need to about the situation. Remember, express the emotion in private to yourself.
Step Five: Release the emotion through a ritual. As you know, we create and reinforce behaviours by creating rituals. Physical activity or movement is usually best for this. So go for a walk, bat a pillow, dance freely, listen to loud music, or rapid breathing…anything that will allow you to discharge the emotion or emotions from your physiology. Allow your body to detoxify…Acknowledge the release of the emotion as you are doing the activity, whatever it is. It’s very important to release the emotion through some ritual.
Step Seven: Share the emotion with someone who can listen empathetically to you, without trying to solve your problem. Once again: share the emotion with someone who can listen empathetically to you without trying to solve your problem. Conscious listening is a skill that takes a lot of practise. You can use an inanimate object to work on this: talk to an inanimate stone or a feather or even a stick to remind yourself to speak openly and honestly. When you feel complete with your communication pass the object to another person and allow him or her to express their emotions, again without trying to solve the problem. In step seven, do something to rejuvenate yourself : get a massage, listen to music, buy yourself a present, eat a delicious meal, nourish yourself. It takes conscious awareness and a commitment to personal growth to go through the process that I’ve just described.
So reward yourself for your good work.’
Thanks to the Chopra Well Being Center in Carlsbad, CA