Away With You by matt carlson

I was in a dream, with him: Joe. Something about sending text messages, impossible because when we’d been together that hadn’t existed. And he had misunderstood my previous message. I smiled inside knowing we would be together soon and all would be fine. I’d explain what I’d meant to say earlier.

Then we were talking and of course we were going to play tennis and after confirming, something about a show and dinner, I ran off into another room to change my shirt. Like in real life, choosing a shirt became a long and drawn out experience! Would I wear that one with stripes or the other one with the blue ? It  now seemed I’d been in that room overlooking that drawer of shirts for hours and that the shirts keep replenishing themselves in different colors and styles – it was a third dimensional drawer fantasy   – and Joe was waiting for me. That thought brought me tremendous joy suddenly. The memory of first love embraced me for a split second and I remembered how good it was…

The dream split into two and the man on the bus with his elephant was also waiting for me !  In fact the bus seemed to be partially made up of elephant and steel, but then not, because suddenly we were off and running with me alongside the elephant inside the bus!  We were trying to keep our balance to the topsy-turvy ride on that desert path and the man from Pakistan was all happy that I’d made it, as I’d promised to be there and he’d been worried due to my being late…

And of course the dream splits into a third incomprehensible scene where I’m going down hill next to the Port in Marseille on a skate board – yea I do that a lot, right? And there’s these little dogs that want to bite my feet further a head, but finally as I go by they just eat the bottom of my shoes which were made up of waffle cookies (vanilla) and so it was no big deal. I laughed and kept rolling along after a cool sliding brake movement. God, I didn’t know I was so good at skate boarding!…

A dog’s head shook  and I woke up, but not completely. I wanted to speak to Joe, spend some more time together. Something was not right…And then there I was on my deflated mattress on the floor in Olympia Washington. Foebbe and Fender there next to me. They wanted to go out again, though I’d been up at around six a.m. already. But, oh,  it was now after nine….

It felt like my head was again ‘up my ass’ so to speak as I half walked and half stumbled out the door, the leash and my two best friends at the other end attached to me. I had to pay attention not to trip over them or get their legs tangled up in the leash. This morning I didn’t feel like going into the forest, I would walk among the living and try to analyze my dream.

It all want back to being twenty years old again, when Joe and I had fallen in love. I’d left my home town, had quit college before the break and had gone off to San Diego to live together with him. We had driven off in my canary yellow 1975 Volkswagen bug. It had a sun roof top, air conditioning and a great stereo.

My Mother and little brother had been left at the door step of my Mom’s apartment. I’d only a short time before explained to my little bro’ about me and Joe.  Guilt and tears mixed with hope and love now  – as we drove away on an unforgettable drive down south to a new beginning.

Away with you…by matt carlson


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